Tuesday, November 19, 2013


Hola readers,

As  the title of my blog includes the word COLLEGE, I felt that I should talk a little more about the college aspect of my life and stop talking about the after college part. Which, in case anyone is wondering, is still up in the air.

 10 Things that are Guaranteed to Happen At Least Once (a million times) in Any Given Semester:

1. You will contemplate lighting your kitchen sink on fire, in order to avoid dishes for the 17th time that week.

2. You will fail a test or seven.

3. You will got through some form of a life crisis, wither it be that you are forever alone, will never graduate college, have no friends, or are broke as a joke.

4. You will contemplate dropping out because you can not handle one more clicker question, pop quiz, or random extra credit assignment.

5. You will become increasingly overwhelmed by homework and put it off to finish and entire season of insert cheesy comedy here in less than 24 hours.

6. The words: Challenge Accepted, will become part of your daily vocabulary, as you plan to finish a 6 page essay 3 hours before the due date.

7. You will get sick! I'm talking coughing up a lung, ears bleeding, nose so stuffed you can't breathe, want to lay in traffic after beating your head against a wall, kill me now, sick. Yep it's gonna happen.

8. You will get fat. I don't wanna hear, "I go to the gym 17 times a week and eat only organic carrots and almonds as my survival technique." We've all been there and given into the $4.50 Cellar milkshake, the party tub of cookies and cream ice cream, the $1 menu at McDonalds, because let's face it people, we're lazy and broke.

9. You will spend excessive amounts of time and money on finding the perfect outfit for some event that doesn't exist, then tell yourself, "Oh, yeah sure I'll totally wear it to...my 8am class, my TA's office hours, or that frat party I wasn't invited to." Let's face it people we are on edge and very privy to making irrational decisions, i.e. purchasing "the ugliest fing skirt I've ever seen" -Regina George. (Thank you Mean Girls)

10. You will waste everyone of your breaks in between classes. Your choices may include the occasional Starbucks run, an extended lunch, an entire afternoon on pinterest, or just being lazy. But let's be real with ourselves now, we are never going to study for that quiz next week or make progress on our next essay, because with only 3 and a half hours to kill, ain't nobody got time to write an essay.

Those most of my words of wisdom come from the female prospective, I would bet cash money that the male population is just as guilty of the previous offences.

Just remember people, college is only the next 2-20 years of your life, depending on how successful you plan to be. In 10 years, no is going to ask you what you got on your first Stats test or how much you loved your English 101 teacher. No one will remember what your dorm room theme was or who your fourth roommate was. No one will care that you partied at every frat on campus or that you finished all 6 seasons of Gossip Girl in 3 days.

Though the skills we develop in college are hardly ever learned in the classroom, just know that we paid thousands of dollars to consume our body weight in ice cream whenever we wanted, to slept socially unacceptable amounts of hours, began to harbor words like totes and presh into our forever vocabulary, and that the # will always be an acceptable means of communication.

So study hard my friends, because in the real world none of these things are possible...

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